I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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