I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
