i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize