He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
