i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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