Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
