I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
