We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
