I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
