My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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