i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
