I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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