we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize