So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
