I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He told me they were just razor bumps!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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