my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize