thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
