you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
