does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
