I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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