maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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