Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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