I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
