the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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