sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
