I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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