so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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