But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
