Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
