I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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