I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
