you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
