I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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