i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
