oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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