I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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