just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
