3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
