I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
