kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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