Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
50% drunk capacity currently
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
