how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
