They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
