Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
True strength comes from lack of pants
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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