garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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