no. you can't hotbox the world.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
