My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
