shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
