that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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