i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize