So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
