i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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