it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
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A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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