my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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