Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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