woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
