I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
