did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.