So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?