Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition" http://tfl.nu/bud7
  Replies (8) Good night (1113) Bad night (3030)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever. http://tfl.nu/csmh
  Replies (14) Good night (4744) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal http://tfl.nu/rcec
  Replies (25) Good night (4866) Bad night (1884)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no. http://tfl.nu/n7ti
  Replies (6) Good night (5274) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me. http://tfl.nu/jxdy
  Replies (12) Good night (4855) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink. http://tfl.nu/iqnv
  Replies (3) Good night (2244) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours http://tfl.nu/wscg
  Replies (9) Good night (1335) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH! http://tfl.nu/fcac
  Replies (4) Good night (2067) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye. http://tfl.nu/tv9w
  Replies (7) Good night (685) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/q7vv
  Replies (9) Good night (1416) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting http://tfl.nu/c2bq
  Replies (5) Good night (1115) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy. http://tfl.nu/dafx
  Replies (0) Good night (871) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe. http://tfl.nu/1bo6
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/23la
  Replies (4) Good night (440) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it. http://tfl.nu/okpd
  Replies (5) Good night (419) Bad night (211)

Randomize