I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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