u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
