I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
