she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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