Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
